I was warned not to make fun of The Twilight Saga: New Moon because I would be sucked into seeing it just to spite me – well, I did and I did. Not only was New Moon one of the worst excuses for a movie I have seen in ages, it probably felt worse because I knew going it that it would “suck monkey balls.”

I am sure at this point that I have already alienated a large number of my readers that are devoted fans of the campy, tween romance novels, but I have to risk that and tell what I feel. Sure, I may have liked it more had I read the novels (and I use the term loosely.) Sure, I may have like it more had I seen the previous film (another generous description.) Sure, I may have liked it had I taken a blow to the head from a heavy object followed by an IV drip of estrogen… but, should you have to do that to like a film?

Not only did it feel like my eyes were being stabbed with a thousand cute daggers, but I could actually feel the brain cells dying at the horrible dialogue, pedestrian acting, campy special effects, and a story more transparent than air on a clear day. This movie actually hurt to watch. The only thing that kept this from rating 1 star, were the scenes involving the werewolves.

If you are a teenage girl – enjoy… if you are not – well, be warned.

RATING 2 out of 10