Riding with the window down…

It’s been quite some time since I did a movie review. As you can imagine, with a new wife, new kids, a new house, new company and yes - even a new dog, things have been a bit busy, (Yes, Lou is still with us as well.) Things are going amazing and during all these changes, I have actually managed to take in a movie or two.

Let’s start with Alice in Wonderland - the Tim Burton version. Long time readers will know that I am NOT a fan of Tim Burton. His art style is creepy and I find it distasteful. That said, I found AiW enjoyable. Sure, it was probably closer to the vision of Lewis Carroll that any of the previous incarnations. Sure, Burton’s style grows on you throughout the movie. Sure, the acting was good. Sure, the special effects were impressive… I don’t know, it’s probably just pure stubbornness that makes me want to not like the film.

What the heck, it was decent.

RATING 7 out of 10

Okay, now on to Sherlock Holmes. Okay, I know it should have been reviewed long ago - what kind of Holmesian scholar drags out his review this long? Did I say I have been busy? First and foremost, I LOVE the character of Holmes regardless of what any actor or director does to him. That said, while I was not at all “down” with the twisted hard-ass portrayed by Robert Downey Jr., there was enough of the original Holmes to keep me interested. I liked the liberties taken with Dr. Watson as he is a character that is not at all fleshed out in the literature.

I felt the storyline was a bit too over-the-top and while it could pass for paying homage to some of the more supernatural stories by Conan Doyle, it missed the mark a bit.

Was it entertaining? Yes. Was it fun? Yes. Was it exciting? At times. Was it Sherlock Homes? Barely.
RATING 7 out of 10

I was a fan of the very first Shrek, but thought the following two incarnations were just a cash-grab. They were clearly put together just to cash in on the franchise. Well, with two out of three sucking worse than any animated series ever - I felt sure that the title for this post would be Shrek: The Final Insult. In fact, when I checked into the theater to watch it with the kids via foursquare, I felt so certain that I posted that before the movie started.

Boy, was I wrong. Shrek Forever After was a throwback to the original. In fact, I have to watch that first one again to be sure, but this may have been the best one of all. Overall, the film is basically just one ogre’s attempt to deal with his mid-life crisis, but the magic was back. The comedy was back. The intelligence was back.

The CG animation is getting so flippin’ good that it is almost creepy - but in a cool way.

This one fits that all important role of being a film that works for the kids as well as the adults. It surprised me and it will surprise you too. Enjoy!

RATING 8 out of 10

I am actually embarrassed to admit that I sat down to watch Dance Flick. I never got into any of the silly teen dance films, so what made me think that I would like one of those ridiculous parodies about the same subject?

Unlike Scary Movie and a couple of the other parodies that were actually funny, Dance Flick totally blew. Not just “lame movie” blew, but a whole new level of blowage (I think I just made up a word.) I literally made it six minutes into this film before I had to turn it off and walk away. It was that bad. It earns my first ever rating of 0 stars - that’s right… not just a 1 star - this was just that bad.

RATING 0 out of 10
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I felt a bit better after rushing to put Dance Flick back in the Netflix envelope and starting the next DVD - The Assassination of High School President. In a word, this film was smart. I totally got into this quirky little story - a story that actually forced you to pay attention and think.

Nick Blaemire, who played the lead character Byron Funke, turned in a very good performance in this - his only film appearance. I was also pleasantly surprised to see Bruce Willis show up as the very intense school principal.

It’s hard to describe the film without giving plot elements away, but rest assured, it is a good film. It will probably go over the heads of many viewers more interested in teen hi jinx than a high school film noir mystery, but if you can get past that, it is worth watching.

RATING 8 out of 10

It has been some time since I’ve shot out a movie review, so I figured I would do one of my buckshot reviews - a lot of little tidbits covering a wide range of film. Not sure if the analogy fits because equating a mini-review to a pellet being blasted from a 20 gauge doesn’t really fit the term “tidbit” but, oh well.

First I will start with the last film I saw, “Did You Hear About the Morgans.” Let me start by apologizing to Hugh Grant. I have always considered him to be a bit of a one-trick pony, and although I stand by that, when paired with Sarah Jessica Parker, he looks downright Shakespearean.

If you get past the over-the-top portrayal of country people to emphasis how “big city” the lead characters are, you have what could have been a decent little film. Heck Sam Elliott and Mary Steenburgen make it worth watching. I just couldn’t help but think with every line delivered by Parker that Sandra Bullock would have made each of them funnier and more endearing.

RATING 4 out of 10

The line of dud films continues with The Informant. Matt Damon, who I like in almost anything did a good job keeping me hoping it would get better as it went, but in the end, it was just a rambling mess.

I am not sure that the script or Directory Steven Soderbergh’s decision to make this comical really worked. It might have been an interesting tale of greed and personal ambition if it were approached more seriously, but it turned out very flat as a farce.

It is a waste of two hours.

RATING 4 out of 10

In another case of “just not there,” The Men Who Stare at Goats looked like it would be a quirky, fun film. It wasn’t. It was a quirky, dumb film.

It featured four exceptional actors in Jeff Bridges, Ewan McGregor, George Clooney, and Kevin Spacey and each turned in a very good performance.

Sure, it had fun moments. Sure, some of the quirk worked. Sure, it kept your attention. The problem was that everything seemed to be leading up to something and NOTHING ever happened. It was ninety-four minutes of buildup with no release.

I am going to have to fault the writing because as I stated, the acting was there - the direction seemed to work, there was just no main course - the words weren’t there.

RATING 6 out of 10

Dawn and I went to see Valentine’s Day on… uh, yeah - you guessed it - Valentine’s Day. My overall view of the film was good (for a chick flick.) It had some good comedy, some sappy romance, and even a cameo by Director, Garry Marshall.

Okay, naming a cameo by Marshall as one of the top things is a little harsh, I mean - it was fun. I think Dawn said it best when she mentioned she liked it better when it was called He’s Just Not That Into You. Seriously, both of them had a cast chock full of stars - each of their stories were intertwined - some turned out devastatingly bad, others turned out amazingly well.

The main thing that annoyed me about the film was the sheer number of long-haired, skinny brunettes. I couldn’t tell them apart! Trying to keep a story as intertwined as this one straight when four of the leads look so much alike was tough.

So overall, there is nothing great about the film - but nothing bad either. The fact that a couple can watch it and both walk out without being pissed is a big plus. Great date movie. Geez, it’s almost as if it was planned that way.

RATING 6 out of 10

Now if you want great family fare - Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief is the movie for you! It has something for everyone.

First off, who doesn’t like a good adventure film? Uh, nobody! I was really not expecting much more than a quick flick created to take advantage of a popular book series (can anyone say New Moon?) This film stands by itself even if you have no association or interest in the Percy Jackson book series. The writing is good, the acting is above par, and the special effects are very solid.

I loved the fact that Kevin McKidd appeared as Poseidon and Pierce Brosnan did a great job as Chiron. Logan Lerman made the transition to leading man very well as Percy Jackson and should do a fine job in the sure-to-come sequels.

If you enjoy mythology, this is a cornucopia of fun characters with lots of fast-paced action and witty banter to keep you entertained throughout. This may even be worth a second viewing.

RATING 8 out of 10

I went to see 2012 because New Moon was sold out and although I give Dawn a hard time about not wanting to see the vampire flick, I think it will actually be pretty decent. I was happy to take in 2012 though because I have wanted to see it ever since I took in the previews.

My expectation was that it would be an amazing film in terms of special effects, have a pretty lame story, and have the science dumbed down for the masses. True on all counts! The special effects were amazing - from the city streets buckling to the Yellowstone caldera exploding, they did an excellent job on the visuals. The storyline was as lame as expected, but John Cusack did his usual fine job of taking a subpar script and adding humanity.

See it for the visuals -see it for John Cusack’s frenetic comedy - forgive it for one too many narrow escapes - forgive it for the junk science and you will be entertained.

RATING 6 out of 10

Okay - so I’ve never been a big fan of Angelina Jolie. Sure, she’s not hard to look at. Sure, she has some amazing… uh, assets. I finally saw the movie that took her personal quest and made it visual - Beyond Borders.

Okay, I admit it. I started writing this review about fifteen minutes into the movie. At that point, all I had seen was a solid scene by my man, Clive Owen and the setup for what looked to be a decent film. By the time I had gotten this far in my writing, I saw this flick turn into a heaping pile of poorly-written, over-acted, super-simplified, guilt-ridden garbage.

Now I see why she is joked about. The makeup on the African refugees was so over-the-top as to be insulting. Really, I commend her for adopting some children to rescue, but can’t help but think she could have done so much more by investing some time and money into a better script, better acting, better everything on this film. This is such a powerful medium for change and information that it could have done a lot to help the cause, but instead seems to preach to us about how uncaring we are while insulting our intelligence with every scene.

Okay, the film has its moments, and it certainly does make the point once you get past the poor film-making. Again, kudos to Jolie for trying to do something… just a weak effort.

RATING 5 out of 10

It seems that as things get settled into a more normal routine, I am remembering more and more films that I have seen and not reviewed. First off, let’s cover the most recent film I have seen first - Where the Wild Things Are.

I was struck by a few things with this film. First, I was intrigued by what a great job the filmmakers did with developing the characters of the actual monsters. Second, I was left wondering if I had forgotten a lot of the storyline from the book I had loved as a kid. I walked away a bit confused, but pleased with the experience. Had I rated it right then, it would have been several stars higher.

What happened since then was some conversation with others and the gradual realization that it wasn’t me forgetting the story, but Spike Jonze and Dave Eggers just creating an entirely new story out of whole cloth. I mean, I know it is hard to take a book that consists of only TEN SENTENCES and make it into a feature film, but while the film was good, it bugged me that they chose to turn one of my happy childhood memories into some dark and troubled story. Where was all the angst, sadness, and unhappiness in the book? It wasn’t there. The filmmakers could have take this and made it into something positive and fun for a whole new generation of kids, as well as their baby boomer/gen X parents - but instead, they turned it dark and sad.

That said, I love James Gandolfini as Carol, loved all the “wild things,” and Max Records did a great job of bringing the character Max to life.

RATING 7 out of 10

I’ve fallen woefully behind in my movie reviews, so I’m not gonna waste any time - let’s jump right in.

Since this is going to be a very long post, I thought I would list the ones that I reviewed up front so you can decide which ones you want to read. They range from extremely recent, to quite old - with some oddball ones tossed in for good measure.

Up
Year One
Terminator Salvation
Taken
The Hangover
Stranger than Fiction
The Wrestler
Jeremiah Johnson
Eagle Eye

Up was a fun film. I have to admit, it wasn’t as good as I was expecting, and that’s just because so many people mentioned how much they loved it. Sure, it was a lot of fun. Sure, the humor was good enough to appeal to people of all ages. Sure, the animation was good. Sure, it had some great dog-related scenes/content. But you know what? It was just not that amazing.

As you can see from my rating, I liked it alot - I was just disappointed that it wasn’t as great as I had heard. The characters were a lot of fun and aside from the very sad story about the old man and his love, I dug almost every part of the film. Expect it to be a really good film - just not one of your all-time favs.

RATING 7 out of 10

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Terminator Salvation is so bad, I am not going to even invest the time required to find a picture to post with this review. This film is bad beyond description.

Christian Bale phone it in, McG (director) should go back to shooting lame music videos - he is a no-talent hack. The story and dialogue read like they were penned by 2nd grader - and I’m talking about the 2nd graders that ride the short bus and lick the windows on the way to school. This is quite possibly the worst movie I have seen in decades. Heck, I have already wasted too much time writing about it…. ugh!

RATING 2 out of 10

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The film Taken scores better marks with me than it should for a couple reasons. 1) I have always been a very big fan of Liam Neeson (with the exception of the Star Wars garbage.) 2) It featured a lot of great action scenes - hand-to-hand combat in particular, and 3) even though she doesn’t get much screen time - Maggie Grace is nice to look at.

Sure, it comes across as way over-the-top, but when done with a believable setting and backed up by a superb actor capable of selling it, it works. Not only will the action and intensity keep you interested, but the emotional tugs provided by a father trying desperately to save his daughter will win over anyone with a heart.

RATING 7 out of 10

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The Hangover was a funny little Vegas romp that I expected to be mildly amusing. Anyone who has been to a good bachelor party knows that these are stories you will tell the rest of your life. (Manny)

The interesting twist in The Hangover is that the narrative is about trying to remember what happened rather than just being a fly on the wall as the hi jinx ensued. Told in this way, the film is probably funnier than it would have been with the traditional formula.

Sure, it is sophomoric. It is absolutely juvenile and appeals the lowest common denominator. But lets face it - sometimes that is fun! The Three Stooges made careers out of going for the cheap laugh. Director Todd Phillips has made a career out of this kind of movie - Old School, Road Trip, etc. and he scored again with this one.

Don’t take your girlfriend’s parents to it, if you are trying to be seen as an intellectual. Don’t take your mom to it, unless she enjoys some good fart jokes. Don’t take your kids to it - period. But, if you want to go see a funny film with some friends that won’t bat an eye at crude jokes, crude language, and generally illegal treatment of a baby - this is your film.

RATING 8 out of 10

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Sorry, I got tired of blogging - I promise to write up reviews of the other four I listed when I get some time.

I have to admit that when I saw the previews for Kung Fu Panda, I was not at all inspired to see it. Hey, I dig the animated/CGI children’s movie genre, but this one just didn’t do anything for me. Then, in a moment of boredom while being unable to locate anything decent on Netflix, I added it to the queue. Let’s just say it wasn’t as bad as I imagined.

I nearly turned it off about 20 minutes in because it was too corny, too lame and too immature. I actually sorta zoned out while watching it and working on something else and was surprised a few minutes later to realize that I was pausing my work and finally stopping it altogether as I watched the storyline unfold. Somehow, it sunk in that these characters were interesting to me.

In the end, the story ended up being rich enough to hold my attention and I was glad to have seen it. I think I came around because Jack Black (Po) wasn’t over-the-top and when combined with great animation, was a very empathetic panda. Was it one of my top CGI films? Not even close. Was it one I will watch over and over? Again, not even close. Would I recommend it? Sure, why not?

Not exactly a ringing endorsement - but much better than I expected to rate it.

RATING 6 out of 10

Monsters vs Aliens is another recent CGI film that left me a little underwhelmed. I went to see it in 3D and while the new technology in 3D film is nothing short of amazing, MvA was nothing special.

It may have fallen short for me simply because of the animation style. I just didn’t like the monsters or the aliens. The comedy in MvA was very good - you can’t go wrong with giving Seth Rogan a boatload of great lines and just letting him go.

The story certainly held up and although nearly every single scene was pinched from other movies, it was put together well. The action was top-notch with several tense moments intercut brilliantly with comic lines. The characters were certainly likable. As an action-packed fun flick for the kids, MvA scores big.

If I had liked the animation style, it would certainly have earned a couple more stars.

RATING 7 out of 10