Want to know how to make three hours seem like five? Watch Oliver Stone’s Alexander. Do not watch it if you are looking for a gladiator type epic. Do not watch it if you are looking for a swashbuckling testosterone film. Do not watch it if you are looking for a documentary style retelling of the life of Alexander the Great. Do not watch it if you are offended by homosexual content. Watch it if you want a love story with some swordplay thrown in.

Sure, we are all aware of the historical Alexander and his reported lifelong ‘love’ of Hephaiston. We are aware of the Greek tradition of pederasty. We are aware that it was considered normal to explore all areas of sexuality… but come on. There is historical reference (writings) to both refute and confirm this claim of pansexuality.

This is typical Oliver Stone stirring the pot. In fact, it is the gay community that should be most offended by the movie – not because he chose to show a reported homosexual relationship as deep and meaningful, but instead because he chose to use it as yet another way to cause controversy. All the homoerotic elements of the film involved beautifully handsome people only and did nothing to show the reality of homosexuality. And talk about makeup… these men had more eyeliner than Tammy Faye Baker.

Colin Farrell did a fine job in the lead role… and geez, just look at Jared Leto (right) as Hephaiston… its enough to make you consider leaving Johnny Depp for… haha.

The film’s only purpose is to stir controversy and put more attention on Stone. There is nothing at all specatular about the film other than the spectacular remake of Alexander into a 350 B.C . metrosexual. It should have been the story of an epic king that happened to be bisexual, instead it was the Queer Eye for the Macedonian Guy.

RATING 5 out of 10