People look at me like I’m crazy when I tell them I want to sell the house, buy a big-muckin’ RV and travel the country. You gotta have a house – you gotta own your own home – you have to live the American Dream… uh, I call shenanigans on that one!

After a hard day of work, its time to relax in your castle, kick back in your recliner, and enjoy your domain – right? Maybe you decide you’d like to wash out the mini refrigerator that you loaned to your nephew only to get it back with 20 packets of rotten Jack-in-the-Box buttermilk sauce and about a four inch thick layer of hairy mold. Just maybe, you decide to knock out that chore before relaxing in your wonderful home.

And maybe – just maybe, you go to turn on the hose and the faucet shoots off at about Mach 3, strikes the neighbor’s house with a clang and is quickly followed by a ten foot stream of water shooting from the pipe. Okay, no problem right – you figure, I’ll just shot the water off at the bottom of the pipe and deal with it tomorrow… Then maybe – again, just maybe, you go to get some water from your kitchen sink and nothing comes out. It then dawns on you that that outside water hose is also the pipe that brings water into your entire house. No showers, no drinking water, no dishwashing, no clothes washing, no nothing that involves wetness until you get it fixed.

So you do what any self respecting homeowner would do… you go out in the dark to fix it. It could be that you reach in to see what actually broke and in the dark you do indeed find out the problem… and you discover the rusted off threads by ripping open the tip of your index finger in the process.

Nothing like climbing behind bushes that needed trimming months ago to wrench loose a 78 cent part so you can make a late-night run to Home Depot dripping wet – all so you can take a shower in the morning. Oh yeah, and I have to be downtown tomorrow morning at like 5:30 AM for a video shoot. At what point is this home ownership joy supposed to kick in? I love my house. I love my house. I love my – screw it… I HATE MY HOUSE!