I actually couldn’t make it through Eragon… it was that bad. This putrid pile of dragon dung was an insult to adventure movies. Not only did it come across as if it was written by a ten year old, it stole every cliche from every famous action/adventure story ever.

Eragon_103623f.jpgGosh, Luke (I mean Eragon) its too bad your parents aren’t around… good thing your Uncle Owen (or whatever) can raise you in these times of oppression by The Empire (or evil king.) Its all good though because everyone knows that a fair-haired, bright-eyed young boy just needs his droids (or dragon) to fight the ultimate evil in the universe. Oh yeah and don’t forget, there are a ton of Rebels (Verden) just waiting to follow some youngster into battle. With the help of Obi-wan (or Brom) this unlikely hero just might do it!

On second thought, dragon poop couldn’t smell as bad as this film.

RATING 3 out of 10

Apocalypto on the other hand was a pretty basic movie that stuck to typical formulas, but somehow looks like Oscar material compared to Eragon. Aside from the waaaaay-too-many slow-mo shots of the Chili-Pepper dude running toward the camera, it was a fun film.

Separated at birth?
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(“Give it away, Give it away, Give it away now” kept running through my mind everytime they showed him running.)

Visually, it was amazing. This story of one of the lesser glorified periods of history was full of detail and historical accuracy. Some people have complained about the violence, but this was a violent period of Aztec culture. I thought the early humor was a bit slapstick and silly, but even with subtitles, found myself completely engrossed in the story throughout.

RATING 8 out of 10