What would you say to a Quentin Tarantino backed film starring Dennis Hopper, David Carradine, Michael Madsen, dozens of gorgeous women, and a pitch line like “Easy Rider meets Pulp Fiction?”  Most people would say this is going to be a hit.  I guess thats what Hell Ride investors thought.  Wow…  this film is groundbreaking!  I have never seen anything quite like it.

By “groundbreaking” I mean I have never seen anything quite so sucky.   Let me go over what I think happened here.  First, Tarantino “loaned/sold/bartered” his name to the project.  Oh wait…FIRST, Larry Bishop (son of former Rat Pack comedian Joey Bishop and character actor in such great television greats as The Dukes of Hazzard, I Dream of Jeanie, and Love, American Style) came up with a plan to make “the mother of all biker movies.”  His “pedigree,” the addition to the cast of Bishop’s Hollywood friends, Hopper, and Carradine likely got a couple of investors interested – boy did they get schnookered.

Hell Ride was written, directed, and starred Larry Bishop – WOW, maybe he was the investor.  About 15 minutes into watching it, Blake asked who the actor playing the lead character was and not recognizing him, I said, “I bet some Hollywood rich guy funded it, tossed some money at those second tier actors and got himself a starring role.”  Talk about hitting the nail on the head.

Alright, sorry for going on so long about the business of making bad movies – the real story here is… well, the LACK of real story.  It is written like some mental midget playing pun games at a college frat party.  In fact, this could be a great party game.  Everyone drinks anytime you see sometime hilariously stupid or hear a pun.  On second thought, the alcoholism rates would skyrocket.

I get that this is supposed to pay homage to the B-movie biker genres, but homage is one thing – horrible film is something completely different.  I’ve already given this waaay more space here than it warrants, but let me add that it is so bad that it deserves to be watched.

RATING 2 out of 10