A very close friend and I were talking about the subject of “getting butterflies” from a relationship. We were discussing how it is common for those to go away after the initial excitement of a relationship wanes. It was my contention however, that they do not have to end.
Scientists have analyzed the “butterfly effect” (as it applies to relationships – not a butterfly flapping its wings on the other side of the world) and many write it off to nervousness and fear of the unknown from a new relationship. That certainly holds some merit. Everyone is a bit nervous at the start of something new. I think that it is MUCH more than that though.
I have seen people who have been in relationships for decades, and you can still see the physical change that comes over a spouse with the simplest of touches, or words from the other. Those same butterflies cause a wave of emotion as strong as any created at the onset of the coupling.
I’ve long been called overly-optimistic and even naive when it comes to happiness, but I see it every single day – even in my business life. Sure, when I start something new – a new venture, or project at work, there are butterflies of excitement. But you know what? Long after the new venture has passed into the “old hat” category, I still get that excitement at the prospect of a new day in that old venture. It works because I make DAMN sure to only choose to do business with people that I love to be around. If a relationship – business or romantic – is not an expression of honest, and committed efforts by all involved – you owe it to the people who count on you to cut it fast and keep pressing forward with the healthy partnerships.
A coworker stopped me the other day in fact, and simply asked, “Why are you so damn happy all the time?” Its because I do what I love and love what I do – that causes fresh excitement every single day.
Romantic relationships are no different. Be with who you love, and commit to love who you’re with – but make sure that you choose someone who can deliver the same. The butterflies will continue to flutter long after the body sags a bit and the wrinkles get more pronounced.